WEREWOLVES IN SPACE

For those of you that don't know, my epic SyFy film is, Werewolves in Space. It stars Misha Collins as everyone. The hero, the villains, his love interest, werewolves, and even the spaceship. This was done in MS Paint in like fifteen minutes so even as far as bad random photoshops go it isn't that great but here's an idea for you.

POSTER!

Apparently my dream idea is a bit too legit for SyFy, so the project has now evolved to ABC Family.

Cracked out dream = SyFy movie

Last night I had a dream that was easily one of the stranger ones I've had in a while. It either sounds like I did a lot of drugs before I went to bed - I didn't - or some cracked out SyFy movie. Imagine this basic plot:

In this dream I owed the government a lot of money. So I did what any logical person would decide to do. Rob the Louvre.



This involved lots of lasers and bizarre shoot outs that either involved some strange leather clad thieve ring or aliens or both. While robbing the Louvre, I somehow found a passageway and low and behold discovered the Holy Grail, complete with the blood of Jesus.



Only it was protected by a swarm of ninjas.



One of these ninjas had a Deinonychus.



Also in this dream, I had some kind of magical talking parakeet that had powers and could change color. And Dylan Walsh was there and he was my uncle or something and he was helping me pull off my heist so clearly this movie stars Dylan Walsh.



You're welcome, SyFy. I'll be sitting here waiting for my check.

Sucks to your Sharktopus

So, most people have probably heard of SyFy's latest endeavor.... Sharktopus if you haven't here is a sample :



Oh SyFy... how is it that you are so close and yet so far from what could be pure gold?

I like the basic use of sharks because, let's face it, sharks are scary. Dinoshark definitely had both it's brilliant and cracktastic qualities to it. However, if you want to go for fear, an octopus doesn't do it for me. I either start thinking of Davy Jones from Pirate of the Caribbean or my mind goes, "Fuck, I haven't had calamari in a while. I should order calamari."

Do you want to instill hunger onto your victims, or fear? Here is my proposal for you, mixing one of people's biggest fears on land with one of their biggest fears in the sea.

ARACHNISHARK

Sharks scare the crap out of people. So do spiders. Think of the wonderful creature you could create by combining these things.



I know I'm afraid.



ARACHNISHARK
Starring Nick Lachey

Wtf why?

When I was a little kid I wanted desperately to write for the Weekly World News. Trust me, I know, it's odd. Even as a kid I knew it was odd. I've never claimed to be normal. The idea of just making random crap up for a living seemed pretty exciting to me for whatever reason. I was an only child and had a big imagination, so sue me.

Eventually, I ended up pursuing film (my true love) and majored in Film in college with a concentration in Screenwriting. When people ask, I tend to say that I majored in bullshit since essentially I did. I got to make things up all day and then sell it to people as if it was the most fucking awesome thing in the world even when it wasn't. That's not to say that I don't take my craft (God, my fingertips just ooze pretentiousness as I type that), because I do, and there are plenty of projects that I'm serious about. However, let's face the facts, boys and girls, a lot of low budget ridiculous crap gets punched out on a daily basis.

Case in point.

The SyFy Channel.

SyFy original movies fascinate me simply because of how ridiculous they are. It makes you wonder if these are just a bunch of people who grew up wanting to write for the Weekly World News and instead got adopted by a basic cable channel. Instincts would lead me to believe that they're doing it for a camp factor or the lulz but on the same note, you never know. The filmmakers of Killer Klowns From Outer Space were serious when they made that movie. If you listen to the commentary on the DVD they think that people love it because it's a frightening film and not quite possibly the best bad movie ever made.

A month back or so SyFy announced they were accepting fan written ideas. This led me to think, "Well hell, this is close to Weekly World News!" They probably have the same writing method which just includes throwing darts at a wall full of words. Let us not forget this is the network that brought us Dinoshark, Megafault, and Stonehenge Apocalypse.

When they want to they can put out some good programming (Alice, The Lost Room) but pffft that isn't blogworthy and fun, now is it?

So by popular demand - and by that I mean the request of one person - I will now be blogging my cracktastic SyFy Original Movie ideas. Sometimes complete with atrocious photoshop and cringeworthy dialogue... not to mention casting!

Enjoy yourself, children.